A week ago I was getting ready to leave London. I am still leaving though the flight was put on hold because I sprained my back. Ouch! It's the second time this happens in six months, so I am being incredibly careful. My bedrest has given me a lot of time to think about what might be going on.
Both times, I was in the process of moving houses, though aimwasn't carrying anything at the time of the accidents (except for the mental load). The 1st time it happened, I bent down to pick up a piece of paper. The 2nd time it happened, I was getting dressed. Things I do everyday without thinking.
The days leading up to each strain, I had already noticed a stiffness in my lower back. Back pain isn't new to me as my spine curves left and then right. The net effect is a straight looking spine even though it has its weak spots. This was diagnosed about seven years ago. The doctor I saw at the time told me to do strengthening excercises and yoga to stay strong. I need to be more diligent with this ...
Fast forward to 2013, when the 1st big back attack happened. I had loads on my mind: a lot of uncertainty about my life and career. Should I stick with healing and writing, or go back to marketing? On top of that, I was also house hunting for weeks before I found a place. The day I got the keys, I sprained my back. It put my plans to start a healing practice on hold, just like this 2nd occurence put my move to Mexico on hold. Maybe my back goes out when I am not quite ready to take the next step? Or it keeps me from trying (and failing) to take a leap, at least for a little while. Either way, it can be pretty annoying.
Oddly enough, I pulled a card before I hurt my back this week, asking about my last days in London. Guess what I got? The Tower! This is about big changes and saying goodbye to the structures and foundations that can keep us in our comfort zones. Tearing it down. Looking at the image now, I can help notice the similarities between the broken tower and my back, which toppled me over.
The Tower may also symbolize that the person is not grounded enough, or that the foundation for change is not strong enough yet. Just a thought for other readers :).
ReplyDeleteI realize you might have a unique physical condition, but much has been made of the fact that there IS a correlation between your mind and your back. Dr. John Sarno was one of the first to write about this in his easily available book "Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection." From the Amazon.com description - back pain "is caused not by structural abnormalities but by the mind's effort to repress emotions." Dr. Sarno has written at least 4 books on the subject. There are other authors who have contributed to the subject as well. Best of luck in your recovery!
ReplyDeleteHello! I have read his books, they are wonderful. I think what is going on with me now is part stress/distraction and partly that I haven't been taking as good care of myself. Thanks for the comment, hope you are well :-)
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