A couple weeks ago I was feeling fearful about my future. The thing with fear is it is completely irrational. Some risks are meant to give us the jitters but if it's calculated risk, I think you make the decision and go for it. Don't look back. That is what I did when I decided to go part-time in September and then to leave my job at the end of January.
I also had a specific plan and it is on track:
- Publish my book on Self-Healing and Cancer. The writing, revising and editing are done! The cover design and pictures are in process. Next week I'll start on the layout design and then I am sending it off to Amazon to Kindle publish. =)
- I am going home to Mexico for 2 months in the summer to start writing book #2 and to promote this first one, which should help because I won't have to pay rent for a couple months.
- In the meantime I have one-off Reiki Sessions, Angel Readings and my savings to pay the bills. In August I might take a part-time job or a healing job and I feel good about that.
My mind tells me everything is going well and I kept trying to visualize success and go for it. Why was I feeling this irrational fear? I made a resolution to meditate on it and heal any traces of fear and worry from my system (and my solar plexus). The question was: where is that fear coming from? My dad kept popping into my mind but I could not figure out what that meant. I thought it might have something to do with wanting to live up to his expectations but that was not it. I was puzzled.
As luck would have it I went for a jog in the park and found myself outside a bookstore. On a whim I went in and found a lovely deck of cards: Doreen Virtue's Angel Therapy Deck. It was exactly what I needed. I sat in the park and pulled two angel cards:
- Vacuum Away Your Fears: Essentially this card suggested that I ask Archangel Michael to vacuum any fears from my solar plexus and take them away so that I wouldn't feel anxious. Archangel Michael could then step in to heal the solar plexus, make it strong again and help me feel confident. I also like to give myself Reiki when I ask for healing. Gives it a boost!
- Parents: Ahh, this card pointed back to my dad. The picture shows a man and woman sitting on a log, playing the guitar and singing. My eyes kept going to the "dad" in the picture and I felt like my dad (who passed away 10 yrs ago) was trying to send me a message. I asked my angels to tell me what this card meant and what I got was a visual of my dad being very fearful and anxious about taking financial risks. Hmmm, it rang a bell.
I picked up the booklet and read the description for this card. One of the things it mentioned is how children can sometimes absorb their parents beliefs, feelings and attitudes. As a highly sensitive kid I learned to be anxious and risk-averse from my dad. He was not completely risk averse but I do think worrying about that things might go wrong undermined his willingness to take risks. I think he was coming to me now because he wanted to let me know that I was feeling his fears, not mine. Funny thing is I am not risk averse: I go for it, but I'm a nervous wreck LOL. But then it works out in the end.
It was time to let go of those fears. This made tons of sense to me. The few months I always pulled the same card in the Angel Tarot when I asked about this new adventure: The Knight of Fire. The card shows a Knight on horseback, the horse looks like it's taking a few steps back and the knight pushes it forward. I take the horse to be the nervousness we feel when we're taking risks. The knight is our resolution to persevere and win. It tells me it's time to tame my subconscious and lead with confidence. That was easier to do once I was able to pinpoint the source of my fears and heal them.
Don't Stop Me Now, by Queen
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Regina Chouza is an Energy Healer, Angel Medium and author of A Personal Guide to Self-Healing, Cancer & Love and Chakra Healing & Magick. She studied angel intuition and astrology at The College of Psychic Studies in London, and qualified as a healer at the School of Intuition & Healing UK. Her passion is bringing the qualities of self-love, joy and empowerment to healing pursuits. Read her books to heal yourself.
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